The tracks of his tears
by xxGlambert2010xx
Summary: Tommy moves to Adam's high school for yr 10 but he is the opposite to adam, he embraces being gay whilst adam is haunted by it because of his early high school years, Will Tommy be able to help adam get through it and move on? ADOMMY\LAMBLIFF
1. Acceptance

**Tommy's POV**

"_Wanna scream out_

_no more hiding_

_don't be afraid of_

_whats in side"_

_~ Aftermath Adam Lambert~_

I really like this guy…even though I shouldn't, but I guess I'm fine with it. I accepted that I was different long time ago, maybe even fully gay who really knows. I've never really put it into play or told anyone. First of all I didn't really have anyone to tell anyway…well I used to but she left to soon and if I ever did tell anyone I think that I might be gay… my life would be over and my parents… well lets just say that I would no longer have any parents. But I guess that was a risk I was willing to take for love, I mean you don't fall in love with a gender…you fall in love with a person.

You see ever since my best friend Mia got hit by a car and died shortly after the accident, when I was fourteen years old I had never been the same. She was my best and only friend, Mia understood me the way no one else could I wasn't like the other guys and she never ever judged me, not even once. I never really got over Mia dying, even now I still have nightmares every now and then, but I try my best to put it all behind me. When she died it had a great affect on me…believe it or not I used to believe in a higher power…I really did, but when she was just snatched away from me like that, I lost all hope and turned atheist. My parents tried everything to drag me back to church, but nothing worked instead I saved up all my money and invested in a Bass guitar self teaching my self every Sunday morning when my parents were out, Music meant nothing to them. All that was important to them was education, bass guitar and music has helped me get through the toughest days and nights where I could still see Mia's eyes shut close for the very last time and for that I would never give up on it.

I didn't cope with my life at all back then… well I did but not in the way I should've, I was a cutter but the only reason I have now accepted that I'm different so well compared to others is because of Mia…When she died the very last thing she said to me before she shut her eyes for the very last time was, "Your beautiful just the way you are, Don't ever change…For anyone."

Ever since that day I have now told myself Mia's last words every day, so here I am now today happy, confident, sixteen years old, Crushing on this really hot guy and in Yr10. Adam, Adam Mitchel Lambert is his name after staying silent and too shy to even smile at him for about a month I decided to go talk to this mysterious guy today, I don't know what it is about him but something keeps me drawn to him. Although he is always wearing black and never really talking to anyone to be honest he is a bit anti social, but its not like I can talk…I don't really have any friends either. I'm sure he doesn't mean to be anti social though or anything but knowing how cruel life can be there is probably something or someone behind why he acts the way he does…

The school bell rang just like it did everyday at ten o'clock for recess except this time I followed Adam into the cafeteria and pulled up a chair beside him, "Hi there I don't think we've met before…I'm Tommy Joe Ratliff, do you mind if I sit here?" I asked with a slight smile.

His reaction kinda confused me it looked almost as if he was scared of me or something then after about a minute he replied in the softest voice, "Adam, Adam Mitchel Lambert…sure you can sit here…" It was almost as if he had no feeling…his face was so unreadable…no expression whatsoever, but I didn't mind I mean he is probably just freaked out that I randomly decided to sit with him after all this time of us both sitting alone.


	2. Fake

**Adam's POV**

"_It's raining today, the blinds are shut. _

_It's always the same. _

_I tried all the games that they play,_

_but they made me insane."_

_~World behind my wall Tokio Hotel~_

Another crappy day of this miserable life, I hate it…I absolutely hate it. I have no friends, no one understands yet even really notices me and then there is the cherry on top…I'm gay, Yup lovely life isn't it…? I'm forced to go to school everyday…for what? All I learn in school is just how much of a fag I am and how wrong and gross guys like me are…oh did I mention I go to a catholic school even more graceful. You can just imagine how awkward I feel in Religion class learning how gay people are basically walking sins. Oh and the day when I can walk down the hallway being called by MY NAME and without being shoved into a locker, will be the greatest day of my pathetic life…why? Because I will most probably die of shock later…Great and easy way to end it isn't it?

I probably sound really fucked up and emo as shit right now but quite frankly I don't care and I have a great reason to be pissed off and upset with my life. I can't even accept who I am…I act like someone I'm not even though it feels so wrong, But you wouldn't have any idea how that feels…Would you? No one does… I wouldn't have to act like some one else if they did understand how it feels to be hated and mocked to be you. If I weren't gay I wouldn't be living the life I am now…they say being gay is a 'choice' but it really isn't. My whole life I've been searching for that straight path but it isn't there...I would do anything to be normal but life just doesn't work that way does it…? So now practically all my life I've been acting like this 'straight' guy, hoping one day it will all come into play, but even that doesn't stop half the crap I get at school.

This whole nightmare started when I began high school, believe it or not yes I Adam Mitchel Lambert…used to have friends. But yea its been THAT long I don't really remember what its like having a friend and to be honest I don't want one. Sure I've sat in the school cafeteria about a million times trying to hold back tears of longing to sit with a group of people that actually want me to sit with them, But they say 'friends' are people you can trust and that are always there for you…but for me that's a load of bullshit, I don't trust anyone…not anymore, He hurt me…he really did…-

"Hi there I don't think we've met before…I'm Tommy Joe Ratliff, do you mind if I sit here?"

A close by voice echoed through my head, interrupting my thoughts. .. Nobody ever talks to me unless its an insult! So I quickly looked up to see what the fuckery was talking to me…I mean I was sure that I was probably now hearing things as well as all my other issues…but to my surprise there was actually some one standing in front of me pulling up a chair, I swear I could've died of shock. He had chocolate brown eyes, he was short but not tiny, he had a very slim figure and well he was gorgeous to be honest…as much as I hated to admit it.

I then realised I was practically just staring at him so I quickly then mumbled something like, "Adam, Adam Mitchel Lambert…sure you can sit here…"

Okay yea I probably didn't sound as welcoming, but hey I was half expecting him to start insulting me once he had my attention and then other half of me was expecting that he was just a hallucination, which would make perfect sense since I hadn't eaten in two days…

Once he had pulled up his chair and sat down beside me it was really quiet, something tells me he is new OR he doesn't know I'm gay… even though I've started 'acting' straight-ish, otherwise he would not even be near me. I didn't really know what to say or think…like what the hell…No one ever comes near me unless its to insult or kick the living crap out of me, like what does he want?

Tommy I think he said his name was…then broke the silence, "So how are you?" he asked, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I nearly burst out laughing how am I? This has to be some sort of sick joke…NO ONE ever cares how I feel or what I did today, unless it involves them getting to torture me. I wasn't buying this for one second I then faced Tommy raising an eyebrow, "so who put you up to this huh?"

His face then turned from happy and calm to quizzical, "What do you mean…? I just thought I would come talk to you, since I've started here a month ago I couldn't help but notice that we both don't sit with anyone. So I thought that maybe we could be friends or something, but I mean if you prefer me to go…I can leave and sit alone again…If you want"

Well today has been an extremely weird day… I have a boy sitting in front of me who wants to be my friend? I'm surprised I haven't fell off my chair. As much as I would love to have a friend… like I said before I don't trust anyone…not anymore. But I don't know there is something about tommy's vibe that makes me feel like I should give him a chance…after all I haven't talked to anyone at school in three years.

"No its fine, you can stay…sorry I questioned you like that…its just I haven't spoken to anyone at school in three years…" I then replied in a plain voice.


	3. Mysterious

"_I'm looking for the one_

_It seemed like such an easy plan (easy plan)_

_I found out you're far from but I still wanna be your man (if I can)"_

_~Before angels fall Simple Plan~_

"No its fine, you can stay…Sorry I questioned you like that…its just I haven't spoken to anyone here at school in three years…"

"THREE YEARS?" I choked out a bit to fast and loud that I almost spat out the sip of soda, I had just taken from my can.

Okay yea…sure I mean I'm not the most social person out there either, but I still talk to people. I just don't 'Socialize' past talking and all that…but this boy hasn't been talked to in THREE YEARS! No wonder he is so mysterious and quiet…hence him always being alone and looking pretty 'emo' in this corner every lunch break. Before Adam could even reply to my sudden outburst, the whole cafeteria was now staring at us and giggling as a group of guys started whistling at us…what the fuck? Why are they whistling…meh beats me, I hadn't realised I had yelled that loud.

"Look you don't know me okay, no one around here talks to me or even likes me, and to be honest I really don't care. So you might as well walkaway now, while you can. If they see you hanging out with me they'll most probably target you as well." Adam replied plainly as he then stood up leaving the cafeteria as the boys continued laughing.

The look in his eyes when they were all whistling…I cant get it out of my head…he looked so hurt and upset, yet I couldn't work out why. I didn't even get why they were whistling in the first place, Maybe they some how knew I was bisexual or maybe even Gay and thought that I was trying to pick Adam up? I really have no idea and honestly right now I don't care, I've already dealt with all this crap and I don't need it again, not now anyway. I just feel really bad about what happened in the cafeteria with Adam, I finally decided to talk to him and was probably also the guy to talk to him in three years and just ended up embarrassing him and making him feel like shit…gee way to go Tommy, couldn't of done it better.

Finally the bell rang for the end of lunch, my next class was Religion, truth be told I am indeed baptised Christian. Except by the time I reached year 7 It hadn't taken me long to realise that people like me weren't exactly 'accepted' or 'welcome' to the church of God and if there is a God somewhere out there he must hate me, not only was I born 'un-normal' apparently, but I lost one of my best and only friends...the only person who was keeping me together. I think that was the final straw of me deciding to become Atheist…I figured that life would be much easier if I didn't believe in anything. Plus it wasn't exactly like there was any evidence to prove that there is a higher power somewhere out there anyway.

Part of the reason I moved to this school is because my parents thought it would help me get my faith back, But as far as I'm concerned nothing can bring my faith back and even if my faith ever did come back, would it bring back Mia, would I be born like every other guy, 'normal'? I don't think so. This is how I look at it…If there was a God somewhere out there… he wouldn't let us all suffer like this and being born gay or bisexual wouldn't even be a problem…who knows maybe there wouldn't even be people like myself, nobody really knows. Then most importantly God wouldn't let the people we love get taken away from us, especially at the times when we need them the most.

Religion class went pretty fast today, usually it felt like a million years went by before the bell rang. As soon as Mr Fletcher, our Religion teacher excused the class I walked over to my locker to put away my text books and grab my school bag so I could start walking back home, not that it was that exciting but it was better than being here, plus I hadn't seen Adam ever since he left the cafeteria…I hope he was alright and not too upset.

I had just left the school gates and was half way down the street when I heard someone groaning in pain, so I picked up my pace and followed the sound…it was coming from a small alley in between two old closed down shops, a barber and a grocery store. As soon as I reached the small alley I couldn't believe who and what I had seen…there lying on the floor almost motionless was… Adam. He had a large gash to his forehead and dark circles were already beginning to form around his eyes as he lay on the floor gripping his sides, trying to hold back tears. I quickly ran over to him throwing my backpack on the floor.

"Adam! What happened…?" I said in a concerned and worried tone as I examined him.

"Nothing happened alright…just leave me alone…and whatever you do don't get help…or tell anybody about this…" Adam replied back almost gasping for air when he finally blacked out.

"ARE YOU CRAZY…YOU ASS…LOOK AT YOU!" I couldn't help but yell back at him…except it was too late he had passed out, Now what was I to do…? He didn't want help…or anyone to find out…so what exactly was I meant to do…LEAVE HIM HERE! Well I sure am as to hell not going to do that…

"Uhh…Dude…are you okay?" a manly voice suddenly came from behind me.

I quickly turned around to see a tall-ish looking guy who looked as if he were just a few years older than Adam and I, with a Mohawk and a small goatee.

"uhm no not really…Could you do me a favour though and give me a ride to my apartment…? I'll explain what happened on the way…" I quickly replied. Yes I was just asking some random guy for help and getting into his car…but Adam needed help and he wasn't going to get it any other way was he?

The man thought about it for a few seconds and then nodded his head, "Let me just bring my car over."

Within five minutes the guy was back with his car. He then got out of the Drivers seat to give me a hand on picking up Adam and placing him on the back seat. As we all were now in the car he began driving off, "So where are we off to?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"24 Patmore avenue, Lockford, by the way my name is Tommy Joe and the guy in the back is sorta my friend Adam…" I replied.

"Haha very well then…my name is Monte…Monte Pittman and your sorta friend guy Adam looks pretty beaten up…what happened?" He asked with a quizzical look on his face.

"Well to be honest I really don't know…I only met this guy today at lunch in the cafeteria but he got freaked out and walked away…then I hadn't see him all afternoon till now. I was walking home from school when I heard groaning, so I followed the noise and then found him…the last thing he said to me before he passed out was, 'Nothing happened alright…just leave me alone…and whatever you do don't get help…or tell anybody about this…' and then you turned up…thankfully."

Monte then faced me looking a bit taken aback, "Whoa… shit dude that's gotta be tough…sounds like he is a pretty messed up kid to me…I wonder what happened…"

"hmm…yea you and I both…" I replied back as I turned around to check on Adam…thankfully he was still breathing, the way his chest moved up and down…was beautiful.


End file.
